Appraisal Sheet

Employee Appraisal / Counseling Sheet
This form indicates employee performance in the position they currently hold.

Knowledge
[ ] He really knows his stuff
[ ] Knows just enough to be dangerous
[ ] Only half a brain and is dangerous
[ ] Brain damaged, his coffee cup has a higher IQ

Accuracy
[ ] Does excellent work if not preoccupied with sex
[ ] Pretty good, only occasionally royally screws up
[ ] Has to take off his/her shoes to count to ten
[ ] Couldn't count his/her fingers and get the same number twice

Attitude
[ ] Extremely cooperative if you kiss his butt frequently
[ ] Brown nose in good standing
[ ] Often pisses off co-workers, thinks it's his job
[ ] Doesn't give a shit, never did and never will

Reliability
[ ] Really dependable
[ ] You can rely on him/her at evaluation time
[ ] Can rely on him/her to be the first one out the door
[ ] Totally useless/worthless

Appearance
[ ] Extremely neat, even combs his/her hair
[ ] Looks great at evaluation time
[ ] Flies abandon fresh dog poop to follow him/her around
[ ] Dirty, filthy, smelly

Performance
[ ] Works if there's money in it for him/her
[ ] Does all kinds of good stuff at evaluation time
[ ] Works only if kicked in the butt every 2 minutes
[ ] Couldn't do less work if he/she were in a coma

Imagine if this was an actual Appraisal Sheet - How would you score?