Public Posting

I feel like I've had to hold back since I've been using facebook. Thinking that I shouldn't post my opinions because someone might take them the wrong way. Then I remembered I could come home to my blog and vent my heart out. So much has happened:
Thanksgiving week last year my cousin died. He overdosed on pain killers, he was only 24 years old. My family all took it as a surprise but none was hurt more than I. I am the oldest of this generation and the only one that got to know the cousins, and that new the grandparents. I wish that we all had gotten a chance to know him better.
In December ( Merry Christmas) I got the foreclosure papers and guess what still no job.
By February things looked like they were getting better. I had been on a few job interviews and had some really good prospects lined up. Then nothing. Aunt Skip died of cancer.
By March I told the kids that maybe we could move to Anaheim where there was more opportunities for jobs and we would be closer to the action, if that doesn't work out then maybe Eureka. (We visited Eureka because of the TV show.)(We loved it, they had great summer programs for the kids, but we were there in February for Valentines weekend. I ended up writing a 3 part novel that is based in Eureka.) So I contacted my brothers Aunt and Uncle and asked if they had any units available on there property. They did, so I went a couple of weeks later and someone had already put a deposit on it the night before. Strike One
I had a couple of really good interviews. and a prospect for a job teaching. So I told the kids OK if I get this job then we'll move to Chino and if I don't then Eureka. 4 interviews later I didn't get the job. Strike 2.
So the kids and I put some papers in a hat 1 - Texas, 1 - Idaho, 1 - Alaska, 1 - Eureka, 1 - Arizona. We pulled Eureka so off we go. We have decided to go for the summer and then decide if we want to stay before the kids have to start school. But one of the things the kids love the most is the school program that they offer there. I'm just scared of running out money when we get there. Other than that I have always wanted to live where the beach meets the ocean, and snows at the ocean. They have great beaches, nice people, cool weather, inexpensive housing, co-op groceries, fantabulous programs for the kids in school and out. Lots of cool rocks and shells. and hopefully good jobs that there are fewer people to fight over them. Anyways were going - I really need this.
I told Jon that we were going and that I couldn't take him with us. I asked him if he wanted to go spend time with his Dad and half sister in Texas for a bit before he joined the Army. He said yes but he didn't think his Dad would want him to visit. So I contacted his Dad and his step Mom and they both said they would love to have him. So I bought him a one-way ticket to Texas and drove him to the airport. When he first got there it was OK. I expected him to be busy doing stuff with his Dad. After a week and a half of not hearing anything I was concerned. After him mentioning that they went to garage sales to get stuff for his step son and not mentioning anything about his son, I was pissed. Finally a posting, a picture and a proud comment. I know from experience that it is hard enough not being in your fathers life but when they boast about the other kids, it's like a stab to the heart. So after Jon went to Texas then I realized that I had to pack this 5 bedroom house all by myself. Screw it, I'm just going to pack what we want and leave the rest. I'm tired of dragging all of this crap around with us where ever we go.
This really nice lady from the rock shop died. I had just talked to her 5 days prior.
The plumbing burst in the hallway bathroom, all of the hot water is pouring out.
Time is running out - to much to do to little time.
The stress builds and i try to keep my eye on the light at the end of the tunnel but it gets harder each day!